Boy's finding

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. 
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. 
"What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"

passed in test

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. 
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. 
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, filling everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. 
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I accept.... I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

who is faster

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says:"Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says:"Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says:"You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!!

very expensive,but is it clever?

A young man's mother was now living in Miami Beach and he didn't see her that often. His father was no longer around and he was worried that his mom was lonely.
For her birthday, he purchased a rare parrot, trained to speak seven languages. He had a courier deliver the bird to his dear mother. 
A few days later, he called.
"Ma, what do you think of the bird?" 
"The bird was good, but a little tough. I should have cooked it longer."
"You ate the bird? Ma, the bird was very expensive. It spoke seven languages!"
"Oh, excuse me. But, if the bird was so smart, why didn't it say something when I put it in the oven?"

clear notice

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. 
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. 
The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend,

"Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim.

A beautiful woman will meet you

A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told, 
"You are going to meet a beautiful woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?" "No," said the psychic, "Next semester in her biology class."

Meow

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
"Well," says the personnel director, "you'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.
"Also," says the director, "you must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course." This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time. 
"There's one last requirement," the director continues; "you must be bilingual." With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, 
"Meow!"

getting disability pension

(Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat.)
First guy: "I've suffered from back pain for almost two years ... Could you help me?"
The angel: "Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years.
The second guy:  I have an eye problem for almost three years....
 (within the second guy finish his speech angel cured his eye)
Third guy: (When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively) -- "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm getting a disability pension."

Advantages of friendship

boon for wife or husband

Unlucky guy

funny pictures

 

 

miscellaneous

(Coroner reporting to the Inspector about the dead body which is in smiling face)

Inspector: "Why the dead body is in smiling face?"

Coroner: "He was died due to lightening attack"

Inspector:"Then, why in smiling face?"

Coroner: "He thought somebody taking him a picture"

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Man 1: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Man 2: His lips are moving.

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(A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.)
Client: "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
Lawyer: "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
Client: "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
Lawyer: "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
 
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Man 1: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
Man 2: Just say "Fees!

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boy vs girl

Boy: Boys are always more intelligent than girls
Girl: Any proof ?
Boy: We always say intelliGENTS, have u ever heard telling intelliLADIES..??

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murder tricks

suicide tricks

miscellaneous

(What a comparison)

computer genious

Miscellaneous

(Even god may also meet tension)

Intelligent students

Hard to handle kids

lovable husband and wife

lovable wife

Tricks to murder wife

 

                                          

husband or wife who should make coffee

(Husband and Wife are arguing about who should make coffee on each morning)
Wife: "You are waking up first so you should make coffee."
Husband: "No, cooking is your duty so its your responsible"
Wife: "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband: "I can't believe that, show me."
Wife fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says! .......... "HEBREWS"  (He Brews)

teacher vs student

(In a classroom, the first day)

Teacher: "Radio was found by Marconi"

Student: Ma'am  i lost my radio, can Marconi found and get back to me?!!!

(in the second day)

Student: "Can i go to bathroom?"

Teacher: (Inorder to correct him) "May i go to bathroom"

Student: but i ask first...

(in the third day)
Teacher: "Who is shakespear?"
Student: "Definitely, not I am ma'am"


(in the fourth day)
Teacher: "What is the difference between talent and intelligent?"
Student: "Walking on the rope between two buildings is a talent"
Teacher: "Very good, then what about intelligent?"
Student: "not doing that stupid things is intelligent"

(finally, the teacher commits)

creative architechture

creative with fun

sad but comedy

fun with animals